Meeting Zoella

So guys, I'm actually writing this blog post! I know, long time waiting. Sorry about that.  Now anyway, onto the topic of the post; meeting Zoella (Zoe Sugg).

Um... Update... I'm writing this like a month later than writing that ^ oops sorry.. XD

You've been waiting for it for a while now so I shall not procrastinate until I get this done! First of I want to say thank you to Callum for the idea of this blog post.

I'm so sorry, another update.... I'm writing this about a month later than that ^
Now, since I'm home alone I can actually do this shiz.

With the meeting PointlessBlog blogpost I was able to include pictures because the pictures were on my laptop whereas the Zoella pictures are on my phone and I can't transfer them to my laptop. We weren't allowed to take pictures with Zoe anyway so taking pictures were pretty pointless but I took pictures for a fan who was ahead of us in line. I then sent a few of the many pictures I took of her and her friend to her twitter and she is so grateful, I wish me and my friends weren't so awkward and shy to ask anyone else to take the photo for us so we just have pictures of Zoe from a distance signing other fans copies of Girl Online (which I will write another blog post on including my opinions). The ride to Zoe was a little different from the ride to Alfie, mostly because we got lost on the way to Zoe's, we wouldn't find the venue. When we got to the venue, Bethany and Kira needed the toilet so me and Thalia were moving ahead in the line while they were in the bathroom and me and Thalia were getting worried they wouldn't be able to come into the queue where we were. No problem though because everyone behind us was really nice and let them past to join us since we were as a 4 and we had their tickets. When we got into the actual place, it was set out so different from Alfie's book signing, the room was a hell of a lot bigger, there was about 100/150 people there in the room.

I don't know if I told you guys in my PointlessBlog but I never spoke to Alfie, or at least I can't remember if I did, it was in the heat of the moment and we barley got any time with him and for the most of it I was crying. With Zoe it was different, we got a little bit more time and I actually spoke to her, I basically forced myself because it's never going to happen again let's be honest. So this was the conversation we had when she was signing my book and a little after she finished signing it.

""Hey, how are you?" said Zoe.
"I'm good thanks, how are you?" said me.
"I'm great!"
"You look amazing!"
"Thanks that means a lot!"
at this point Zoe handed me the signed book.
"Thank you." said me.
"Thank you, enjoy the book!"
"I will, thank you."
at this point I was on my way out when someone handed me a girl online poster (which is now pinned on my wall) and I then went to meet my friends in the exit way when my lungs started hurting really bad, it was a really sharp pain and I didn't know what to do. My friend thought I was about to have a panic attack and I couldn't say I wasn't because I couldn't breath. We got to the car and I calmed down which was really needed because I really didn't want another "lung attack" (which is what I call the little episode I just explained to you because it happens quite a lot and I don't know the name for it, in fact I don't even know what it is.) On the way home we got a McDonalds which was my 3rd one that week! No wonder I'm putting on weight! I hope you enjoyed reading this blogpost, please leave some blogpost suggestions in the comments.

YouWouldn'tHaveGuessed.

March Favourites

I'm very sorry for not posting a February favourites, I had most of February off of blogging and I've already explained why in my We have a lot of  catching up to do :) :P  post. This won't happen again anytime soon so now on to my favourites for this month.

1. Pretty Little Liars

I am on Season 4 episode 18 (as I'm writing this, probably further in by the time you read this) and it's hooked me every time, I never want to stop watching. It'll be really late at night and I will be drifting off to sleep but I never do, I keep watching and watching. I would highly recommend watching it, you won't regret it. 

2. Collection Lasting Perfection Concealer

This hides any spots, blemishes and dark under eye circles that I have and it lasts all day looking flawless. I would recommend this to people that have combined skin like mine, it's oily in some places and also dry in others. If you put this on and put your powder mostly in your most oily parts of your face (I use the Rimmel London stay matte pressed powder) then it keeps your make up secure and covers the oil but it still leaves your skin to breath. I use the fair shade because I'm very pale and because of this it's very hard to find make up for my skin so this is also good for pale people as I found it to be very close to my skin shade. 

3. Collection Fast Stroke Eyeliner

I've been loving eyeliner and not only this month. This eyeliner had a thin ans stiff end which I find useful so the en isn't flapping everywhere when I'm trying to apply it. My friend actually recommended this to me and I'm so glad I got it because I love it.

4. Dresses

This month I wanted to try something new and change up my style a little. I'd never normally wear dresses but I saw a dress and tried it on because it looked nice. I got my friends opinion and she said I should get it because I looked really pretty on me. I did buy it because I thought it would be great foe the warmer months. I have a picture of a dress I found on the Internet that looks similar to the dress I bought but it's still quite different so bare that in mind. 

5. My new shoes.

I got some new shoes for my birthday and I love them so much! They are grey and they are more like ankle boots. They have to be laced up and they also have a hard sole which is perfect for me since I wreck shoes quickly because I walk and stand weirdly. I have a picture from the Internet (just like the dress) to show what they are similar to. Compared to the picture, my shoes don't have the buck;e at the back they don't come that high on my legs and the shoes isn't polished, it's more of a fury material and on the inside they have wool to keep my feet warm in colder months, also my shoes don't have the zip or a heel of that size (my heel is smaller and isn't meant to make the "heal" sound). 

That is this months favourites, I hope you enjoyed reading. I would like to apologise for my favourites of this month being quite girly, or the stereotypical girl with the fashion and make up. I highly doubt there will be any more of it any time soon. What are some of your month favourites?

YouWouldn'tHaveGuessed.

Secrets

Everyone has secrets, some have been told and some are still bottled inside of you. Some secrets are kept for your own sake and some are for the protection of others. There are different types of secrets: 

• Secrets that are made to be told

These types of secrets are my favourite secrets purely because I hate having to keep things hidden from the people I love. I enjoy being able to tell my friends things that no one else knows about me. Examples of these secrets could include: Secret crushes/boyfriends, secret/hidden talents etc.

• Secrets that are never told

These types of secrets are generally the ones that are kept to protect someone else rather than yourself (depending what type of person you are). These secrets are my least favourite because I hate having to keep things from my friends, even if it is to spare their feelings getting hurt.

I feel really bad still even though this happened quite a while ago. One of my friends crushes was a complete turd and told her that he had a girlfriend when he didn't, his excuse was that he panicked which is completely understandable. This "turd" then asked me not to tell her and then went and told his friend and my other friend that didn't now about this crush. This was very stupid of him to do and he shouldn't have done it. Few weeks later I told my friend in a very insensitive way in front of her crush and her. I felt incredibly selfish for the way I proposed this to her but if I hadn't said it then I wouldn't have said it at all. She obviously felt upset but she kept calm and told everyone she was okay even though I could see that she wasn't. Of course her crush was very angry at me telling her, but not "ready to fight" angry it was more like "I will make you feel bad for what you put me through" angry. This has all been forgotten about now but when (my friends crush, I'll name him Henry but that wasn't his name) Henry was put under pressure to tell our other friends about the situation, that I can't actually remember how it came up but it did, he didn't tell anyone and just told them that he was being a dick, which in my opinion is 100% true but I was also being a brat by telling her the way I did. It would have hurt her if I had told her calmly and alone, I couldn't imagine the way she was feeling when I came out with it so insensitively.

The purpose to this blog is to think about things before you say or do something, and also the secrets that aren't meant to be told probably shouldn't be told depending on what it is.

Now since this blog is about secrets, I think it is fitting to tell you guys a secret of mine and you can leave yours in the comments. I'll have fun reading them.

SECRET: I have had 4 boyfriends. 2 of which has lasted a day. 1 of which has lasted  2 days and the one I'm currently in had lasted 2 and a half months so far. My other relationships weren't so successful because I panicked and dumped them. :L

YouWouldn'tHaveGuessed.

Birthdays...

Since it is my birthday I thought I'd tell you guys about why I love and hate birthdays. Oh, and in case you were wondering I'm 15! :D

Why I love birthdays

• Spending time with family and friends you've not seen in a while.

I love being able to see old friends and family I've not seen in a while and catch up. Most of the year this isn't possible because people have school and jobs and other plans but when it comes to someones birthday they guarantee the day just for them.

• Confidence

I have no idea why but I'm much more confident on my birthday than the rest of the year. I don't go around talking or acting very confident but I will wake up feeling good about myself and being ready for what the day throws at me.

• Cards!!!

This could be just me but I would much rather get a card than a present. I don't really like taking presents off my friends (family I'm fine with) because I hate knowing they have wasted their money on me when they don't need to. Cards are cheap and cute, you can put cute birthday messages in them that can make someone smile.

• Getting older

Please don't say "yay, one more year closer to death." although it's true but it's also depressing. I love getting growing up. There will a point where I don't want to grow up anymore which I reckon will be when I'm roughly 20/21/22 but right now, as a teenager, I can't wait to get out of these years, they suck. Let's be honest. 

Why I hate birthdays

• Attention 

I'm not the type of person that enjoys attention, I like to know I'm heard by people I love. I don't want everyone to hear me or see me unlike most people at my school. People that want centre of attention seriously need to rethink their life goal. 

• School

My birthday always seems to land on a school day so I'm usually at school for my birthday which sucks. But this year I had lessons that I actually like to look forward to.

• Birthday cake

I hate shop bought cakes, why on earth would you put jam and cream in the middle of the cake! Seriously, are they insane. My parents forget this every year, no matter how many times I remind them they always make the same mistake so I never get to eat my own birthday cake, I normally just have a bit of icing from the top or I'll get a cupcake and put a candle on it for myself.

• Tradition

Don't get me wrong, I love having a few birthday traditions but it seems that it's either the same every year or other people do the exact same thing. C'mon originality people!

This year is I'm 15, which is so much better than 14, I despise the number 14 so much! It seems unfinished, if you get what I mean. The number 15 seems so much more rounded and just overall better xD. I have a problem though a day before my birthday I had injections and a week ago I smashed a mirror... 7 years bad luck and trust me I've defiantly faced the consequences for breaking the mirror. It's been a week and I've already stepped in poop twice, embarrassed myself multiple times, I've also been 1000 times more awkward than I usually am- and I'm pretty awkward already. I'm looking forward to rest of the years bad luck... NOT! 

YouWouldn'tHaveGuessed.

Never let anyone tell you...

2 posts in 2 days? That's right, my creative juices are flowing apparently. This blog post is a little like my "Follow your Dreams" post but it's quite different. Today I'm telling you never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do; unless it is the law or your parents (depending). I'm saying this because I'm sick of people telling me who I can and can't talk to and who I can and can't date. My parents hate my 16 year boyfriend because over a year ago he punched my 12 year old brother. The time this happened I think my boyfriend was 14/15 and my brother was 11. My brother is seriously annoying and was being creepy towards his sister (who, at the time, my brother liked), honestly, I don't think he should have done it but I think he deserved it. I'm still going out with him after my dad told me I wasn't allowed, my mum found out today that I'm still going out with him and she is going to tell my dad. I'm in big trouble.

                    I personally think they have no right to tell me who I can date and who I can't, it's my life, if I get hurt it's my own fault. They should just accept that I'm happy with him. I hope my parents are reading this, if you are then please don't tell me who I can talk to and who I can't, it's me that will get hurt and I'm okay with that. I want to make mistakes and I want to get hurt so I can grow  older than wiser. I will never learn if you don't let me. I will never grow up if you don't let me. You are constantly telling me to grow up and to stop behaving like a child. I have two things to say about that: 

1) I can't grow up if I don't make mistakes and get hurt (love) to learn from it. 

2) It's okay to behave like a child, maybe not crying when I'm hungry or sucking on a dummy, but it's good to act younger than you actually are sometimes. It's stops people from being grown up at 13 (preteens). Some people I know (that are in their 20s) act really childish and it's okay, they are grown up as well, they still do taxes but they also watch anime in their Pokemon onesies. (These people are Dan and Phil if you hadn't noticed.)

I know my parents are trying to save me from being hurt because they don't like seeing me hurt or broken, I don't like feeling like it either but I would rather be broken and be able to grow up and learn from my mistake than to be saved every chance my parents get and never grow up and constantly be that child they don't want me to be.

Rant over. Thank you for staying through it, have you been in a place where someone has told you what you can and can't do? It doesn't necessarily have to be your parents. I'd love to hear from you guys.

YouWouldn'tHaveGuessed. 

We have a lot of catching up to do :) :P

I am very sorry for not posting in a while, I have my reasons which I shall explain.
1) I had no blog post ideas. 
You can't write a blog post if you don't know what to write about.
2) My laptop is sorta (sorry for the slang/text speak there) broken.
You also can't write blog posts if your laptop doesn't connect to the Internet, crashes whenever I log into the guest profile and won't let me into my profile even though the password is correct. It comes up with the message "User File error" which sucks. I have good news regarding my "broken" laptop though, It now successfully connects to the Internet and doesn't crash when I log into the guest profile, but it still doesn't let me log into my own profile and my guest profile has loads of restrictions (for my younger brothers and sisters) so not only have I lost all my pictures and documents saved onto my profile, I'm also restricted to what I can do on this profile, for example I can't use PowerPoint, One Drive, avg etc. I can use the Internet (no restriction), I can use Word and access USB's and files on this profile.
3) I have been super busy with school and mock exams. 
School is a little more important to me than my blog is. I spill most of my emotions and feelings into this blog whereas in school I bottle it all in and don't tell anyone most of it so my blog is really important to me but my future is so much more important. I want to succeed in school so I revise and do all my homeworks on time and do my best in every exam I take, even if it is a mock. Speaking of which, the other week I took a chemistry, biology and physics mock exam (end on core unit exam) and I got my results back, I got an A in Chemistry and Biology and I got a C in physics which is lucky because my strong point isn't physics and the exam was very hard, I'm in set 1 and only a few people got As and Bs.


Now, onto the topic of this blog post: Catching up. A lot has happened in my life and I expect a lot has happened in your life too. I'll tell you about my struggles, problems and achievements and you can tell me yours in the comments, I'd love to hear about them and help you guys out.  :)

So lately I feel as if I've changed a lot, looks, personality and just how I am. I've definitely become a little more confident and I can feel that I have socially because people that talk to me outside of lessons I am fine answering them and I don't shy away but in lessons it's completely different, I'm still the shy girl that talks to no one but my friends confidently. I think I have changed in looks because I look older and I also got glasses over a month ago and that definitely changes my appearance. I have also been wearing a little bit more make up (when I do wear make up, which is just the weekdays; weekends if I'm going out to a friends or for an event) and it makes me feel much more confident in myself, whenever I don't wear make up I look so different! Well.. maybe not "so" different but I do look different. My skin is naturally very red and spotty, I have dark circles under my eyes and my skin is just very.... um.. awkward. It's oily, yet dry. Dry in some areas and oily in others, it makes make up very hard for me. I'm also very pale so finding the right concealer and BB cream for me is very hard to find. Enough with the make up talk, for the boys reading sake. 

I also think that my anxiety got worse, if that's even possible. I was walking home from my bestfriends house yesterday (after surprising her with cakes and presents for her birthday) and it was quite dark and where I live there are a lot of people that look creepy and sketchy, they could be the nicest people in the world but they look like they're not. So I was walking home and I see black figures under street lamps and my heart races and thoughts hit my head like a ton of bricks. I couldn't see which way they were walking because they were so far away but all I could think about was if they were walking towards me I would probably have a panic attack in the middle of the streets at half 6 at night in winter on my own. I also found myself looking back every chance I got, I kept thinking that someone might be following me home, I don't know what I was more scared of: them able to attack/rape me at any moment because I was so vulnerable or them knowing where I live and being able to murder/burgle me and my family.

I don't know if you guys know, but I don't feel as though people should fuss over me, which is difficult when my mum constantly worries for me. I'm not allowed to walk on my own (home) after 7, if I'm at my friends house late I have to be taken home by an adult and if my friends live a 5 minute drive but a 40 minute walk I have to be driven there and back. Whenever I want to go to my friend Meg's house she will be a pain and tell me I have to get a ride there and to ask one of her parents to take me back home and I always feel really bad having to do that. I don't understand why I can't walk back or get the bus back. Actually, I'd rather not take the bus, I'd get lost if I'm honest, but I'm completely fine walking. Me and Thalia have walked to Meg's house and then all 3 of us walked back. NOTE: This is really hard to explain when I don't want to say the area of which we live. So instead I will make a comparison, Lets pretend Meg lives in Washington (UK) and Thalia and I live in Sunderland, now you understand the time/miles etc. It really isn't that far but it's far enough. 

I think this may be the end to my returning post. I'm sorry it's so long but I hope you enjoyed it, it took ages to write but I had fun writing it :) Leave your comments down below, what do you think to long blog posts?

YouWouldn'tHaveGuessed.