Throwing this out there...

One word. Anxiety. It controls our lives, if you have anxiety you will know what I mean. I can write an endless list on why anxiety sucks, but I won't because that's boring to read. Instead I will state what I hate about anxiety the most and any experiences I have had that I feel comfortable telling you guys about. If you wish not to read about something like this then please check out my other blog posts, not all of my blog posts will be like this so don't worry.I'm sure I'll have a blog post you will enjoy :)

Firstly, anxiety attacks or better known as 'panic attacks'. Now, I have had plenty of panic attacks and I am pretty used to them but when it's in public it seems much worse. I should mention the types of anxiety I have so I can explain to you about my panic attacks. I have social anxiety and generalized anxiety. This means that not only do I worry about talking in front of people or to people is I also worry about stupid things. For example I will be walking around where I live on a nice walk when my mind thinks it's a good idea to remind me that murder and rape is a thing. I then start staring at people that look 'shifty' or better yet I will imagine or 'make up a plan' in case something like kidnap was going to happen. I talk to my good friends about things like this all the time (they also have blogs that I will link at the end of this blog post.) I have once had a "mini" panic attack in public, it was at school. I don't want to explain the reason why because looking back at it, it was a stupid reason to have a panic attack, not like I had a choice in the matter anyway. I remember standing there, shaking, basically hugging the wall and my friends and a handful of people from around the area, they were all staring at me and asking my questions to make sure I was alright. One of my bestfriends took good control of the situation and made everyone take a step back to give me some space and basically told everyone to shut up. She made sure I was okay, she asked if I needed any water, I can't remember my reply but I also can't remember drinking any water so I'm guessing my reply was a no. I do, however remember looking up and catching eye with someone and it made me feel so much worse, I felt like the ground could have swallowed me up and I wouldn't care as long as I was away from everyone. Most of you are probably thinking "Why didn't you run away then?" My answer to that is I couldn't feel my body, I felt like for those 5 minutes (that felt like hours) I was all emotion. 

Secondly, no one understands you. Those who are lucky to be living without anxiety never understand what you are going through. I had a conversation with my auntie the other day, this is how it went. Me: I hate buses! They make me feel uncomfortable so I don't use them.Her: Don't be silly there isn't anything wrong with them.Me: I have anxiety so it's a completely different experience for me than it is for other people.Her: Don't be so silly, you will have to use them sooner or later. Didn't you want to move to B****** (Forgive me for needing to censor the place name) anyway so you would need to use them there. 
People without anxiety don't realise the feeling. They don't realise what we go through everyday, the fear of having a panic attack in public, or the feeling when someone creepy stares at you. They will never understand so they should stop pretending like they do.

Lastly, I thought that instead of complaining I would try to give advice. If you are suffering from social anxiety, slowly chase it away. One step at a time we will both 'get rid' of our social anxiety. If you are suffering generalised anxiety then I'm sorry but this one is harder to get rid of. I don't know how to chase this one away, I wish I did, it would stop most of my panic attacks. I don't really have much advise, I wish I did but I'm still trying to control my anxiety. I would like to help as many people as possible but I'm still trying to figure out what anxiety is about anyway. 

Sorry for this very long blog post guys, I hope you enjoyed it and if you didn't tell me why in the comments and help me improve my blog :) In the comments tell me about your anxiety (if you do have it) and also leave advice in the comments to other readers and I to help us all. 

My friends blogs : http://imnotamorningperson01.blogspot.co.uk/     http://imsurroundedbyidiots01.blogspot.co.uk/

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